A Little Info...

well, until I figure out (and/or someone tells me!) how to link to an about me page... I'll just pop a post on here ;)

(mi abuelo and I at a U.S. v. Sweden 'football' game- he's from Argentina and my grandma's full Swedish, and that's just One side of the family, so we cover a few world bases)

My name is Jess and it's my first year away from home (Southern California) living on my own up at UC Santa Cruz as a junior transfer. I'm a modern literature major with an education minor (gotta love only having time for upper division classes which fit into the curriculum!) with aspirations to eventually work as an editor for a health/fitness publication, cookbooks, or novels... ah, to dream. Though I tend to be a bit of a grammar stickler I'm trying to keep the blog a place where I can just come to blow off steam and not worry about things like that.

I Love reading, writing, cooking!, being with friends, attempting to play guitar, hiking/staying active in general, boardgames, traveling, gardening with my mom, drinking tea, and crossword puzzles- among other things (my family/friends/animals, but that goes without saying). My father has always been a Huge proponent of having meals consisting of only grilled red meat- (side dishes? Huh?) while my mom has a couple amazing signature dishes; however, is also known for burning pasta. My grandmothers are both amazing, country/old-world style cooks. Unfortunately, while this is sometimes tasty, it often involves more butter and lard that I can stomach- literally! 

 (my mom and I in Hawaii- she went to school there! Lucky girl.)

A bit of health history: The summer of 2006 I came down with severe m

ononucleosis. Eight months of fun, excitement, and hardly being able to get out of bed or swallow. It caused me to stay at home and go to community college for two years which actually ended up being a great decision, both financially and with the quality of the education- you really get out of school what you put into it! Unfortunately, it also caused me to drop a lot of weight. After I healed, I ended up at a healthy weight; however, I decided that this sickness should spur my desire to live a healthy lifestyle. I wasn't educated enough to go about this the right way :( I became obsessed with excess exercise and thought that eating as little as possible of pretty much vegetables, period, was the right way to go about it. I thrived on a sense of control that I had never felt in my home life (both my parents [and grandparents] are amazing people; however, these days many people have some sort of volatile relationship history and this blog is Not about them, so it's not worth going into too much detail). 

Regardless, I let other peoples problems and issues affect me because I wanted Some way to help or feel in control- the coping mechanisms I chose were definitely neither healthy nor effective. Thankfully, my mother confronted me. I hadn't even noticed I was losing so much weight until she made me get on a scale- and that's when I knew something had to change.

I began eating more and exercising less. Embarrassingly, this process was more difficult than I anticipated. I did not want to be one of 'those southern california girls who makes up problems even though she's so privileged.' But that's what I thought of myself. Lack of self esteem, distorted body image, this sickness was far worse than the mono in that I Knew that I was doing it to myself- and I always considered myself a logical person. Through a bit of therapy and some great friends I both had and made along the way, I was able to realize that there is no shame in having a disordered relationship with food as long as you're taking steps to be healthy, happy, and learn new coping mechanisms to deal with stress and unsettling feelings.

Though I'm still working on finding that balance, I'm pleased to say that I am back up at a healthy weight and finally enjoying life again. Being entirely comfortable in my own skin may take a bit of time, but I'm willing to wait because I am worth it! These days I cope by speaking with friends, cooking, walking, and doing schoolwork- I like to stay busy, but still enjoy sitting down to relax with a cup of tea, puzzle, and good company ;)

  (No, I didn't eat all the duck, but it's my dad's favorite-so pictures were in order)

Also, I decided to become educated about what I put into my body (because Knowledge is Power- thank you Francis Bacon!). I received my Nutrition and Wellness Consultant Certification from the American Fitness and Professionals Association this past summer; so, while I'm definitely not a R.D. I would be happy to answer any questions or comments to the best of my ability- although consult a doctor/professional for medical advice. It has been so inspiring and eye-opening to learn the effect that food has on our bodies and the importance of different nutrients for different types of diets (I'll do a 'Philosophy on Food' post at some point in the future as well). Really understanding the consequences of food choices and long term effects that current choices have on long-term well-being has been immeasurably beneficial to my recovery and mindset. 

So, Now: It's difficult being away from my family for the first time (sure, only about 6 1/2 hours by car, but I've always lived within walking distance of my grandparents and With both of my parents- most of the time). My sister, with whom I'm very close, just moved up to Oregon. Also, I have a boyfriend who lives a Bit farther away than that- about 5200 miles away, to be precise. Thank goodness for technology! So I'm juggling school, missing people, and staying healthy (both mentally and physically) all in one. I have been so inspired and impressed with many bloggers healthy attitudes and ability to balance that I decided to create my own blog to share my struggles, and perhaps become a little part of the incredibly supportive blogging community which seems So friendly and welcoming.

For anyone who made it to the end of this, rather long winded shpeel (totally a word)- I really thank you for listening. Have an amazing day, and happy November!